I have decided to declare the week that the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition is released as Man Week. Say hello to Kate Upton. That's her, up there. Stupid me, you probably haven't stopped looking long enough to read this.
The first rule of Man Week is you do not talk about Man Week.
Unless you are me. And you are not.
The second rule of Man Week is NO ADELE.
And the third rule of Man Week is that it's not just for men.
What would be the fun in declaring something so amazingly amazing as Man Week and then turning it into a Sausage Fest?
So ladies, hang if you want (and at your own risk), you are quite welcome here as long as you adhere to the following guidelines three:
- The following items cannot be talked about during Man Week:
Aromatic candles, curling irons, eye lash curlers, spanx, push up bras, girdles, lip plumpers, hair dye, cellulite or cuticle cutters. Spanx, by the way, are a popular brand of “shape wear” used to give women a more slim appearance. Basically they are sausage casings for cellulite. The whole idea is to constrict the human body into a smaller space than gravity would allow. Like the push up bra and girdle, it's false advertising and somewhat disappointing, especially if you are witness when those puppies come off. No thanks. - No Movie Quotes For Women:
Let's face it, when we are out at a bar tossing around our favorite and funniest movie quotes, as soon as a woman chimes in there is inevitably an awkward silence followed by a solemnly implied "game over." We enjoy the fact that you hate it when we recite movie lines. When you play along, it takes the wind out of our sails and almost always ruins a good conversation, especially when you quote "That's what she said," from The Office. Personally, I refuse to acknowledge even knowing that line when I hear a woman use it. Women can't say "That's what she said" for the same reason that men can't quote Miranda from Sex & The City. When we were kids we built tree houses specifically to keep women from partaking in male camaraderie. Quoting movie lines is our adult-equivalent of those tree houses. No chicks allowed. - Don't restrict our diets:
We need red meat and beer in mass quantities. We do not need veggies and soluble fiber. Not during Man Week, anyway. If you haven’t been to a Brazilian Steakhouse, aka the Roman orgy of meat, the waiters walk around offering up skewers of incredibly delicious steak, pork and lamb, etc. Your only duty at a place like this, known as a Churrascaria, is to put yourself as close to a coronary quadruple bypass as humanly possible and wash all that food down with bottles and bottles of your favorite microbrews. Allegedly, churrascara is Portuguese for barbecue, but I am inclined to believe the literal translation is "meat storm." The Brazilian Steakhouse was created with the male in mind, allowing our predatory juices to flow in the bipedal, flesh-eating theropod fashion in which we were created. Women have their own restaurants and the kindly french gave them very metrosexual names. They're called bistros.
Of course, at the end of this post you will be able to check out the video we have selected specifically for Man Week. I mean, could we pick anything more appropriate than "Rad Anthem" by Rad Omen? You watch the video, then tell me.
So, to all you kittykats and daddyos, I say "Welcome To Man Week". As long as you play by our rules you are welcome to hang.
****(I know you want to scroll back up and look at Kate Upton. Go ahead, just come back down here and finish the article. I'm watching you.)****
This Week's New Facebook Friends:
Check out the band Dana DeStefano & Dollparts from Naperville, IL, in fact let me get you their link: http://www.facebook.com/DanaDeStefanoDollparts
I really dig on their song "Change The Theme" and you will too.
- "You will love 'Change The Theme' by Dana DeStefano and Dollparts, and you want to know where you can hear it."
- "I will love 'Change The Theme' by Dana DeStefano and Dollparts and I want to know where I can hear it."
That is me successfully working you over with the Jedi Mind Trick. All part of Man Week. Indeed.
After you Facebook Friend them, you can stalk them all over the web, just like I have, because they have conveniently placed all of their social media links on their Facebook page. But don't be a creeper. I know, it's Man Week and I shouldn't infringe on your social media freedoms, but seriously, just go to their website and listen to the song "Change The Theme" -- you can take that journey by clicking on this link here >>> http://danadestefano.com/
Actually, listen to all of their music. We will be adding them to Jivewired Radio this week as well.
P.S. -- As usual, once you Facebook Like them, tell them Mike from Jivewired sent you.
ABOUT THE MONDAY MIX:
The Monday Mix airs from 12:30PM to 5:00PM CDT each Monday and is designed to help you get through that brutal after-lunch, energy-sucking span that kicks off every work week. This particular show will be a mix of old, deep album cuts and new indie music with a lot of genre crossover. No Adele. Sorry.
What else does The Monday Mix do? Well, it helps you discover new indie music by combining some really great under the radar tracks with more established songs that were, once in fact, under the radar as well. The hope here is that the culture shock of discovering your next favorite band won't be so enormously imposing if we surround the new stuff with some of your old, familiar friends.
Jivewired supports independent musicians by paying royalties for airplay on Jivewired Radio. Please help us support indie artists by listening to our station and by purchasing indie music. Thank you.
The links on the radio player will give you download options if you really dig on the music and some of the songs are offered for free.
To listen, just press play on the radio widget to the right or use this link to open in a new window that will allow you to listen when you navigate away from this page:
Launch Jivewired Radio
Monday Mix Playlist For 20 February 2012
01. Serpents by Sharon Van Etten
02. Our Day Will Come by Amy Winehouse
03. I'm Diggin' You Like An Old Soul Record by Me'Shell Ndeg'eocello
04. Sure Thing by St. Germain
05. Take Your Medicine by The Quick & Easy Boys
06. Little Talks by Of Monsters & Men
07. Home by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros
08. Only For You by Heartless Bastards
09. Hospitality by Eighth Avenue
10. Po' Black Maddie by North Mississippi All Stars
11. Laundry Room by The Avett Brothers
12. Change The Sheets by Kathleen Edwards
13. Cry Cry Cry by Nicole Atkins
14. Lost In My Mind by The Head & The Heart
15. When I Die by The Revivalists
16. There I Go Again by Amos Lee
17. Trouble Over Me by Tift Merritt
18. Hard To Save by Shannon Wurst
19. I'm In Love With A Girl by Big Star
20. Bruises by Chairlift
21. Casa Del Grillo by Widespread Panic
22. Instant Insanity by Dr. Pants
23. I Don't Feel Like Dancin' by The Scissor Sisters
24. Raw Meat by Black Lips
25. Smile by Lily Allen
26. Left Of The Dial by The Replacements
27. The Unknown Faces At Father James Park by The Phenomenal Handclap Band
28. Love Is Not Enough by The Wealthy West
29. Until You Remember by Tedeschi Trucks Band
30. Old Enough by Rickie Lee Jones feat. Ben Harper
31. I'd Rather Go Blind by Etta James
32. Already In Love by Exene Cervenka
33. Beggar In The Morning by The Barr Brothers
34. Movement & Location by Punch Brothers
35. Hell Of A Season by The Black Keys
36. Whirring by The Joy Formidable
37. Best Day by Darius Lux
38. Closer To Fine by Indigo Girls
39. MoneyGrabber by Fits & The Tantrums
40. It by Rich Aucoin
41. I Found You by Alabama Shakes
42. Can't Let Go by Lucinda Williams
43. Ride Captain Ride by Blues Image
44. Congregation by Afghan Whigs
45. You're Too Weird by Fruit Bats
46. One Time Too Many by Phoenix
47. 100 Yard Dash [Live] by Raphael Saadiq
48. Warehouse [Live] by The Dave Matthews Band
49. Fuel [Live] by Ani DiFranco
50. In Sleep [Live] by Lissie
51. The Fool I've Been by Whitney Mann
52. The Last Call by Red Molly
53. Relator by Pete Yorn & Scarlett Johannson
54. Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine
55. Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups
56. I Think I Like It by The London Souls
57. Barton Hollow by The Civil Wars
58. Honolulu Blues by Craig Finn
59. A Letter by Shauna Burns
60. Scene In San Francisco by Ed Hale
61. Jealous Girl by Ben Kweller
62. Stay Useless by Cloud Nothings
63. Tree By The River by Iron & Wine
Video Of The Day All Y'all
Rad Anthem by Rad Omen
HEY! If you made it this far into the article, I sincerely thank you. Just one more thing, if I may.
I have a new twitter account that is less Jivewired and well.... more me, and I'd like you to follow. Mention that you read the blog as well and I'll send you something really groovy. Follow me on twitter: @JivewiredCEO -- I'll even make it easy for you, here is a direct link -- @JivewiredCEO - I'm not sure but I think all you have to do is click on that underlined thingy and it will teleport you directly to my twitter account. I love technology.
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